Crying with Strangers
Recently running has been very sad. But let's not talk about sad times, let's talk about weird times.
So I drove to the river, ran a couple minutes, and my hip hurt and my brain was doing the crazy talk, and I started crying like normal and walked back to my car. Recently that has been the trend- try to run, feel pain in my hip, feel indecisive about pushing through or taking off, feel like a failure, cry about being a failure, walk back to car or house. Repeat the next day. So I sniveled and boo hooed my way back to the car.
As I was about to get in the car a middle aged man in a white shirt walked up to me.
Man: Were you crying?
Me in my head: what! i feel ok crying in public because i know no one and no one will talk to me, but you're ruining it, oh boo.
Me outloud: um, yes.
I looked down avoiding eye contact.
Man: I just want you to know... (I look up) that you're not alone.
Low and behold his eyes are pruney and red and yes, tears are glistening in his eyes. His face is squinched up with emotion.
Shocked and uncomfortable I pause for a half second and then resort to my normal fall back of a question.
"um, what happened?"
White shirt man puts a clenched fist against his chest and says in a raspy voice, "love." His eyes are still very moist and look red and stingy. It's kind of like the movies. I don't really know what to say, but luckily he asks,
"What about you?"
Me: Running.
I may be imagining it but I swear for a half second his tearful face is swept over by a more 'what in da fuck' kind of face of amazement at the stupidity of my sorrow before he quickly recovers and switches back to mournful man.
"Running?" he asks, just to make sure and clarify that my pitieous weeping is over running.
"er, yea." I says.
"well," he says, "i just want you to know you aren't alone." and with that he walks off.
part of me feels like i should shout after him and try to give back more than my short answers since he was obviously reaching out to me in a friendly way. part of me is really glad he decided to leave. i act upon the latter emotion and hop in my car feeling happy that i at least got a strange encounter out of the fruitless run.
looking back on it i kind of wish i could have found out more of that guys story but times were very uncomfortable.
So I drove to the river, ran a couple minutes, and my hip hurt and my brain was doing the crazy talk, and I started crying like normal and walked back to my car. Recently that has been the trend- try to run, feel pain in my hip, feel indecisive about pushing through or taking off, feel like a failure, cry about being a failure, walk back to car or house. Repeat the next day. So I sniveled and boo hooed my way back to the car.
As I was about to get in the car a middle aged man in a white shirt walked up to me.
Man: Were you crying?
Me in my head: what! i feel ok crying in public because i know no one and no one will talk to me, but you're ruining it, oh boo.
Me outloud: um, yes.
I looked down avoiding eye contact.
Man: I just want you to know... (I look up) that you're not alone.
Low and behold his eyes are pruney and red and yes, tears are glistening in his eyes. His face is squinched up with emotion.
Shocked and uncomfortable I pause for a half second and then resort to my normal fall back of a question.
"um, what happened?"
White shirt man puts a clenched fist against his chest and says in a raspy voice, "love." His eyes are still very moist and look red and stingy. It's kind of like the movies. I don't really know what to say, but luckily he asks,
"What about you?"
Me: Running.
I may be imagining it but I swear for a half second his tearful face is swept over by a more 'what in da fuck' kind of face of amazement at the stupidity of my sorrow before he quickly recovers and switches back to mournful man.
"Running?" he asks, just to make sure and clarify that my pitieous weeping is over running.
"er, yea." I says.
"well," he says, "i just want you to know you aren't alone." and with that he walks off.
part of me feels like i should shout after him and try to give back more than my short answers since he was obviously reaching out to me in a friendly way. part of me is really glad he decided to leave. i act upon the latter emotion and hop in my car feeling happy that i at least got a strange encounter out of the fruitless run.
looking back on it i kind of wish i could have found out more of that guys story but times were very uncomfortable.
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