Flute Solo

Bro Runs.

Unbelievably retarded yet strangely satisfying.
Three white bums, joggling in a row. Aka Austin, Trevor, and val think it’s hilarious to run with their pants around their knees while I’m catching up from behind. Nothing like hiney cheeks to start off a run.

We are at Mounta Arabia. Which means offroading up the mountain of course.
The guys are wooping and singing and becoming one with their inner tard. We hop off rocks and Val thinks it's cool to toss one inches from my head. Austin thinks it would be funny to tell coach that I was injured by Val tossing a rock at my head.

We are little brutes. We are mangy beasts.

Austin: dude, coach should just let us run wild here for like two hours dude. and like i would go mountain biking and go crazy dude. destroy this place. that's my style dude.
trevor: haha ya dude ya.
val: let's get fucking lost and eat flowers.
trevor: haha ya dude ya.

Then we find rocks in the shape of a heart and Val starts thumping the rocks and kicking them.
val: i hope they break up! die die die.

We huff and puff up to the top of mount Arabia where we could howl like wolves to the moon if it was night time. Then we spot the sacrificial alter, a big slab of rock on top of the mountain with a fire pit in the middle.
val: ok guys! follow me!

we all line up behind him in a tribal unit prancing our way up to the sacrificial stone. I caw like a bird and swoop my arms up and down like a big nasty vulture. Val howls into the wind. Trevor and Austin grunt and hoot.

we hul-la-la-mu-ba around the little fire pit and dance like monkeys and make Indian calls until i have to double up from laughter. Big bubbly fat juicy laughter. Kinda like those farts that sound like trumpets, but in laughter form. Because it’s so deep and happy and satisfying. just like a trumpet fart? Not sure where I was going with that metaphor.

Me: hee-me-ha-ma hee-me-ha-ma I put hands like meep claws and parades them up and down while doing high knees on my tippy toes and val looks just as cool.

We find a nasty lake with yellow bubbles on top which austin thinks we should swim in until we point out it’s a little bit disgusting. val decides to take a wiz inches from my face so I start foraging homeward. The briar patch tries to defeat us and it kinda does so we have to retreat.

to finish up the run, val whips off his shorts and starts waving them around his head as he runs in his stripey little European undies. austin and trevor keep hooting out, 'woo!' back in forth in appreciation of the valerie's "impressive" display.
I guess that’s the beauty of bro runs… You get away with being as dumb as possible. And I loves it.

PS- best part of my week: On Friday we're all in weights holding a plank, the whole team straining, and it's quite, devin pacing up and down.... when we hear the winiest fart squeaking out like a plaintive flute solo. Justin was the proud donor. It was beautiful. Thank you Justin. You're the man.